User blog:Joeaikman/Epic Rap Battles of I Don't Even Know What Series This is a Part of Episode 1 - King Julien vs Shaka Zulu
Hello fuckers! Welcome to the super special battle of awesomeness! Wait, this isn't Flats' new battle? This was written by Joeaikman? Who the fuck is that! I thought I was being hired to introduce a well known series. Oh who am I fucking kidding, no one reads this introductions anyway. Thanks to Alanomaly, Loygansono, GravityMan, TKandMit and Bobdave for their proofreading and suggestions. I've been told to link your pages but it seems pointless, everyone who read this will have heard of you. So in this shitty as fuck excuse for a battle we see Shaka kaZs... Kazeh...Shaka Kazhe... Shaka Zulu, leader of the Zulu tribe and an incredibly influential general, go up against the lemur King Julien, of Madagascar fame, to see who is the greater African King who wear flamboyant crowns or some fucking shit like that. The Cast How the fuck am I supposed to cast this? 3/5 of the people who appear are monkeys! Wtf battle. Anyway, Shaka is >purple, Julien is green, Mort is orange, Maurice is grey and Rico is white. The Battle Step to the Zulu and a true king's gonna bruise ya Leave your ass served sorer than the Foosa did to ya You're no ruler, just a useless excuse for a monkey Hiding behind his freaks and failing to get funky Draw on your Clover all you like, you ain't getting lucky When the horns of my assault leave your fluffy tribe bloody Ruled Africa as King, feared by friends and enemies Left a legacy of slaughter that will live on for centuries This lemurs gotta learn that there's more than Madagascar So join me on my conquests and this man will get scarred This is a clash of kings, and here's where the tale gets meta You left a gecko in charge and he ruled your people better Who's this stupid mothers boy failing to move it, move it Compare our kingdoms, I rule it, you like to lose it, lose it I'm King of the Zoo-lu, who's the Party Lord of the Savannah Kill this cow if he tries to refer to royalty in that manner Stop the production of crops, but you ain't paid to pick cotton Let's prepare to kick ass, I like kicking ass-I mean bottoms We will dunk this loser, cos Shaka lacks a sense of honour Acting like your brothers who left Shaka Senz a gonna Put a spear through the heart to stop your monkey business Try to diss this? You're witless! The Zulu are getting vicious My hordes move on yours and your followers depart Have all the fancy crowns you like, you'll never look the part Of King, because it requires strength and upper body muscle Not stupidity, parties or this monkey's puzzling rebuttals Dingiswayo doesn't sway on slaying his standing rivals We will get tribal on this liar and his feet kissing disciples NOT THE FEET! Maurice, tell my enemy who is the bestest Ruler of the jungle, plains, and wears the better headdresses I'm a fur covered stud, you're balding in your prime At the time that Dingane stole both your crown and your life I'm a friend to the sky gods, who drop rain like my rhymes When I offer up sick lines like Melman as my sacrifice Ignore those silly penguins, I'm the star and that's fact It's called The King Julien show ...sure, let's go with that There's no Otter King, you're another rat in my path Explosive raps to dethrone traitors with a - KABOOM- blast Who wants a brutal ruler, over one who's nice and sweet and sexy My peeps are loyal whilst your arch enemies were your besties Who won? Shaka Zulu King Julien Rico Category:Blog posts